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[17 Nov 2007|01:00pm] |
It's the season. I'm seeing Christmas trees and lights, and ten or twelve snowflakes reluctantly sweeping towards the ground to melt.
So I did a song by the Pretenders.
Here you go. I hope you like it.
This is the introduction of my new project.
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[08 May 2007|05:18pm] |
Just please imagine me wearing this.
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[15 Mar 2006|07:16pm] |
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I saw a star and said hello.
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[25 Dec 2005|02:54pm] |
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music |
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Mariah Carey - O Holy Night |
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Christmas.
I started celebrating Christmas at midnight with white hot chocolate, decadent cookies, and A Christmas Story. I stayed up until morning because I felt too good and too happy that I didn't want to fall asleep in case I lost the sensation. I passed out for a few hours when the sky turned a lightened grey, then woke up and the feeling is still there. Mm.
I'm wishing all of you a wonderful Christmas. Even though some of you I don't get to talk to hardly at all anymore, though I really really wish we still did, I have known ("known"?) most of you for a long time, some for over 5 years. And you should know that no matter how little effect you think you have, whether on me or any person, it is much greater than you can imagine. So, thank you. I can't express how much of a pleasure it is to be able to know you. Have the best day.
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[15 Oct 2005|09:51am] |
To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, - that is genius.
A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good-humored inflexibility … when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else, tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.
We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each or us represents…but God will not have his work made manifest by cowards.
Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.
These are the voices we which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its member.
The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is it’s aversion. [Conformity] loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.
Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness.
What I must do is all that concerns me, not what people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and intellectual life. may serve as the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find people who think they know what is your duty better that you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.
The objection to conforming to usages that have become dead to you is, that it scatters your force. It loses your time and blurs the impression of your character.
The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loathe to disappoint them.
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today. ‘Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood,’ Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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[05 Sep 2005|04:19pm] |
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Recommend me a book.
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| I cleaned my room. |
[21 Jun 2005|03:45pm] |
I'm sure all of you have read/heard this...But pay attention to it.
--
Kurt Vonnegut's commencement address at MIT:
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in yuour life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
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[29 May 2005|07:13pm] |
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"If what I write does not speak to your heart, I do not care what your head says about it."
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[13 Mar 2005|03:42am] |
This is lack of sleep. This is me gone insane.
I see figures that creep inside the shadows and fog that travel with my car when I'm driving late at night.
And then I see them again at tomorrow.
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[04 Feb 2005|03:32pm] |
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I never expected my entire line of thinking to change after a mere 109 minutes.
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[20 Dec 2004|11:12pm] |
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I am very very tired of feeling really really small.
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[16 Dec 2004|08:10pm] |
I just watched Coffee & Cigarettes.
Uh...yeah.
If any of you have seen it, let me know what you think of the film.
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[07 Dec 2004|11:43pm] |
All I do is study, because I have no idea how difficult my finals are going to be. I have no previous university experience to base anything on. And I'm bored.
I met a deer the other night while I was taking a walk along my road. It was one of those surreal, standstill moments. We stared at each other for hours. Then I sneezed. It scrambled out of sight.
I like being alone with the brisk air.
(I'm not able to give up.)
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[02 Dec 2004|02:36pm] |
Weird moods lately.
In about 3 weeks I'll be on my way to Florida for Christmas. I know it will be a good time and all, but I would prefer snow on Christmas. That's the only time it's actually good. Because I'll get back and sneer at it since the holiday season will be at a close. It's supposed to be our last family vacation sort of thing. Everyone is growing up and moving out soon. I think my mother is afraid of that.
The other day I started making a list of all the people I've hurt, or given bad feelings so that I could give them an apology, and patch things. I don't know if I'll end up doing that though. Not because of pride, but because for some it might be too late, and they won't even care anymore.
I started writing a symphony. And am almost finished writing my third book. You'd think if I wanted to procrastinate from school studying, I would watch tv or go to a party or something like a normal person. Not this guy. Mock me if you will.
I could say that things are going relatively well, but there is, as always, a couple things that cast their shadow over almost everything I do. I have always been bad with letting things get to me. But this one isn't being easily shaken.
I like good songs. Recommend me some please.
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[26 Nov 2004|12:32pm] |
After October, which turned out to be one of the best months of this year, November has proven to be by far the worst. So many bad things crammed into only a few weeks. There is too much garbage happening.
I think I really am giving up on the general populous. I initiate..but nothing budges. The thing is, I know that if I don't ask anyone to hang out, then that means I don't hang out ever. Because no one asks me. I know a lot of peoples' first reactions to that are "oh come on, you're in a band and you're in university, you must have a ton of friends to hang out with". Well I don't. And I say to people "hey we should hang out" and they'll say "oh yeah for sure" ... And obviously we don't end up doing that. I'm at a loss for whether I should keep asking so-called friends, or if I shouldn't bother. Maybe I'll just get used to doing things on my own.
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| Dial-up causes ulcers. |
[22 Nov 2004|12:28am] |
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Oh, sweet mother of me.
I just downloaded the new Project 86 music video.
At 98%, I got disconnected and almost freaked out. But when I reconnected it luckily resumed again. What an adventure.
After a mere 3 and a half hour wait for it to finish, my weekend turned from awful to entirely fantastic.
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| I am bored. |
[17 Nov 2004|02:54am] |
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music |
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the mars volta |
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I don't write in this thing often enough. And when I do, it's smelly and lame. No one likes an unshowered cripple.
I went to Buffalo tonight and saw mewithoutYou. They were fantastic. I love hanging out with Aaron. It was nice having my mind off some things. And they always put me in the mood to write song lyrics. Which is good, since we have new songs that I need to write lyrics for. I still really want to go to New York City again. Or Chicago.
I'm looking for something, but won't know what it is until I find it.
I need a new home.
I keep worrying about what things will be like in 6 months from now. So many things might change. Our band could be signed and touring. The band could be signed right now, if we wanted to. I am not lying. But we're not ready for it yet. So we wait...And things will happen in the future, I hope. And on the other hand, there might be no band, and I'll be going to university full-time. And then, I might transfer to a different university far away. I might be moving out to an apartment. I might die. I might win the lottery. I might buy a lottery ticket. I might keep the same awful routines. I might die.
I'm not content anymore just doing correspondence courses for university. I want campus life, and class schedules, and friends. Friends would be nice.
I'm hoping with everything in me that I can look forward to the weekend after next.
I started every paragraph of this entry with a word beginning with the letter "I". How selfish.
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[11 Nov 2004|05:06pm] |
I went to see Pedro the Lion on Tuesday. He was fantastic, but does a bad job of brightening moods, I'll have to admit.
Bad bad bad.
I have a feeling this will not be a good night.
Cancelled.
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